Someone's coming!
There's a cliff up ahead. If we keep going like this, it'll be dangerous.
Let's stay inside the guard rails.
Ow!
20 years after the date of my birth, I came face to face with true darkness for the first time.
No worries, no worries.
Dear viewers, might you be aware
that large numbers of honeybees are said to be disappearing?
Why do I ask?
Because this nighttime orienteering deep in the mountains unfolding before you
is due to my own disappearance as a worker bee.
O-O-Ozu...
The water over here tastes lovely...
The water over there tastes bad...
What the hell have you done?
Heh heh, nothing at all.
Let's walk to the next train stop.
I think that'll be for the best.
This is truly hell, and it's all that honey's...
or rather, it's all because of my total infatuation.
Who is responsible?
Probably me.
Just this time...
J-pwq
Then I was a freshman university student
and before me lay open countless doors to that rose-colored campus life.
"Softball Circle Honwaka"
"Recruiting"
It seems that Honwaka reserves a corner of the sports field each week and plays softball,
with the occasional game thrown in.
Other than that it's totally free.
The logo might say "softball circle,"
but it looks like their main purpose is to engage in warm-hearted intermingling.
Here there is no practicing day and night chasing around white balls.
There is no sweat, no tears, no guts.
No one is aiming for any national tournament...
Farewell, my melancholic high school days.
It would not be so bad to join with this bunch,
and while breaking into an invigorating sweat, make a hundred friends!
I will surely master cordial conversation
while playing catch with beautiful women during early morning practice.
It is an ability that I must master to make my mark on this world.
It is most definitely not simply because I wish to converse with pretty girls.
I want to learn the art!
But if, after mastering the art,
a beautiful woman wished to come with me, I would have no reason to decline.
No worries...
Fear not, and come to me!
"Softball Circle Honwaka"
Unfortunately I was an idiot beyond all redemption.
Now, please listen carefully to the circumstances which befell me.
And I will accept no leaving in the middle of this!
The softball circle Honwaka was just as the name says.
Like the covering clouds of a springtime haze, warm and snuggly.
The thing that interested me the most was their male/female ratio.
Please, eat!
It's an organic sandwich and tea with royal jelly.
It's most definitely not that I judge everything primarily by such a criterion,
but was not this the best possible ratio to nurture intimacy with the opposite sex?
The only thing that worried me...
...was that it was a bit too "warm and snuggly."
To put it simply, everyone was far too nice.
That place doesn't use much pesticide, but the prices are quite reasonable, don't you think?
The idea of getting ducks to eat harmful insects is quite effective.
The consumer shouldn't have to suffer just because something
is more convenient for the producer.
People should at least have options.
They take away the people's choice because they don't want them to get money.
But sometimes you feel like a cup ramen, you know?
You know, the ones that are bad for you with lots of oil...
I think adults have to set a proper example.
If we can show the right attitude to the children, then our children will grow up normal.
They say that children who are loved properly from a young age don't go astray.
We could cross the street on a red light,
to teach them the concept of not blindly accepting the law without question.
Before long I was no longer part of the conversation,
and every time I uttered a word
everyone would fall silent with kind smiles still plastered on their faces.
Among those constantly brightly smiling faces, with no dissent or dirty talk,
was a single man I felt close to named Ozu with a face like a youkai.
With his peculiar conversational skills he managed to secure his place within the circle,
but he seemed to have trouble smiling and laughing innocently.
That's quite amusing.
Giving the impression of an evil that could not be hidden lurking inside his gut,
he had a laugh so unnatural it was like he wasn't born with the proper muscles to do it.
They say a drowning man will even gasp at straw,
so I immediately hit it off with such a slippery fellow.
It's okay, it's not your fault.
It's everyone's fault for creating such a situation.
Who could learn the art of pleasant sociability through such lukewarm interaction?
My patience had almost worn through.
It was a situation that could explode at any time, like the Cuban Missile Crisis.
However, while I remained on the brink one day in the summer of my freshman year,
I had a fateful encounter which melted my heart in a warm embrace.
Her beauty was incredible.
I felt like her "whoa" factor was of 100% purity,
like if you tried to speak with her she'd be too bright to look at directly.
It seemed she was an important member of Honwaka,
and she was surrounded by people, smiling as she listened to their conversation.
I passed the state exam thanks to the royal jelly!
My grades rose thanks to those concentration patches!
It's all thanks to Honwaka that I've come this far.
She was the personification of the raven-haired maiden I pictured in my mind.
If I walked with her along the mall of Sanjoukawara or something,
I bet people would surely be jealous looking at the fresh young couple walking down the road.
Oh, look at you. Should you be eating something so unhealthy?
Shut up!
Neko Ramen is a mysterious food cart that only appears around Tadasu Forest.
It's rumored they use actual cats to make the broth, but there's no proof of it.
The owner says it started living nearby after he began feeding it used bonito flakes,
but if he was ever reported to the police I'm sure his cart would be shut down.
However, the taste is unmatched.
Kohinata-san is a freshman like us.
Don't underestimate me, I can tell what you're thinking at least.
I hear she's the only daughter of the health food company
that's the umbrella group for Honwaka.
The softball circle Honwaka is a branch of the health food company Honwaka,
and she is the company's poster-child.
Despite that, she doesn't have much enthusiasm for PR work, and only appears once in a while.
Now that I think about it, I've never seen her play softball.
She may have shown up today.
But if you want to see her regularly,
it seems like you need to raise your position to a more suitable level.
At Honwaka, your rank in the circle rises the more you buy their products.
With a high rank you can attend meetings only for high-ranked members,
and that seemed like it'd raise my chances of meeting her.
Well, if you want to run along the path of love, I can't stop you.
Idiot. Who would go buying health food products like that?
Isn't that like saying she's some grand prize you can win if you collect enough box tops?
Here you go, 30 portions of supplements and health drinks.
You're really working hard!
Royal jelly is produced by the worker bees after ingesting pollen they've collected.
Its rarity causes the production cost to skyrocket.
When I first heard the cost I thought it was a scam,
but when I heard how it was made I realized it wasn't some fraud,
and comparing the price with other companies seemed about right.
The only problem was that my own economic situation became somewhat unbalanced.
All the time I had to sleep disappeared, and I had to work day and night.
Even if it's high quality stuff, just eating it all at once will,
on the contrary, be bad for you.
If you take a lot, then any more than the set portion won't be absorbed,
and the rest will just wash out of your system, or so I heard.
Thinking about that, I was afraid of going to the bathroom,
for it was sure to leave behind precious nutrition.
I bet you got sick because you didn't take these!
My grandpa's illness got better when I gave them to him!
Thanks to the health food, my lifestyle got more and more unhealthy.
Although it's thought that healthy food leads to good health,
perhaps I would have been just as healthy if I had done nothing but sleep.
"Popper Certificate"
"Stepper Certificate"
"Jumper Certificate"
"Winner Certificate"
"Wholer Certificate"
"Plighter Certificate"
"Bee Missionary"
Healthy honey!
Honey candy for your health!
Don't be surprised, but two years had passed.
And I hadn't seen her even once since that day.
I wanted to obtain happiness quickly more than health, the environment, or world order...
How incredibly wasted were these past two years.
There's no looking back on the incredible amount of money I earned and then spent.
Let's be healthy!
Confirm with the barcode.
If the page is deleted, then it's an attack from someone.
This honey candy will protect you from the flu!
It's something that was discovered by NASA.
We were told not to tell anyone before it was announced, but...
No, you mustn't believe everything you read on the Internet.
I'd like to inform my dear viewers: this is definitely not my style.
And if you question my credibility, there's nothing to look into and I have no answer.
I don't want any.
Let's do our best.
Finally, the strain of these two years caused me to snap.
They say tourists walking down Shinyougoku could hear that business was booming.
Trying to run from people's prying eyes, before I knew it I had come to Kiyamachi.
And there an old fortune teller was emitting an eerie aura.
I was sure she wouldn't give me any concrete advice, though.
You are wrapped in unease, are you not?
Hold it! I didn't ask for a consultation or anything.
I can sense you have much talent.
I took off my helmet to the old woman's keen insight.
You could tell it was me?
Anyway, I feel there's an opportunity you can't let pass by.
Opportunity?
Grab the opportunity that is dangling right in front of you.
That'll be 5,000 yen!
And then...
I received any invitation to the national assembly I'd been waiting and waiting for!
The national assembly is said to be a two day, two night ceremony
deep in the mountains at Honwaka's headquarters.
Now, please remove your blindfolds.
The is the nucleus of Honwaka,
built with the latest technology and techniques,
which is being targeted by spies even now.
Please take all care to keep what you see and hear to yourself.
We left our luggage in our rooms and headed to tour the factory.
The place where we make the candy does not use any machinery.
Everything is 100% done by hand, with no additives of any sort.
To create something wonderful, it must be done by hand, yes?
It doesn't look like 100% to me...
Less than 1%.
It was then that a flag about 3 tatami in size emblazoned with "Danger!" was unfurled within me.
After that we had a perfunctory friendly softball game
and then went around the organic farm and beehives.
There are those that try to stop us for their own crooked profits.
But I don't think we can lose.
I believe that the righteous will be blessed in the end.
I mean, really.
You all did great getting here.
I bet you all got some funny looks.
Like when you had patches stuck on your forehead.
But it's odd because it works!
The unbelievers can't taste the amazing power of nature!
You all have found salvation.
But there is still much work to do.
We are approaching a time when the world cannot recover from the illness inflicted upon it.
"Global Warming"
"Ozone Layer"
"Declining Birthrate"
Don't you feel it?
"Sexless"
"Earthquakes"
The time of judgment is coming. 2012.
"Natural Disasters"
"Abnormal Weather"
See that?
To prepare for the upcoming calamity, we have prepared our "Ark of Salvation."
We'll put a pair of each animal inside it and one pair of man and woman.
It's basically Noah's Ark.
Two people will board that flying ship and will live on through the catastrophe.
Then, after the destruction is complete,
they will once again set foot on this earth and create a new world.
It's too bad the world can't go on like it is now.
But I always worry...
Then, someone asks:
"Are you worried about the final judgment that's coming?"
"No, that's not it," I reply.
"Even though the situation will be so hopeless,
what really causes me despair is the number of people
that do not change to a new way of thinking."
Right now, we only have a small, insignificant amount of power.
However, we must continue our efforts until the very end.
The souls of those who struggle to the end without their wishes fulfilled
will quickly return home to the Pleiades.
After our bodies are destroyed,
our free souls will be reborn as new life-forms and ascend to a new, higher stage.
There will be no need to worry about this troubling human life!
Let's do it!
Thank you for your support.
Next, let me introduce my daughter.
That's it?
"Become a person"
Everyone, it seems you haven't opened your hearts yet.
You can't continue to the next stage
unless you spill out everything from the bottom of your heart and confront your soul.
Haven't you all just lived superficially?
If your life hasn't gone so well, that's probably the reason.
All of my friends are successful.
Why do you think that is?
Because they show their souls.
The truly great all understand this concept.
Blast out what you feel from the bottom of your heart!
Everyone!
You're worthless!
You're always going on about a diet while you're stuffing your face!
You pig!
I've always thought your hairstyle was gross!
You say you don't need a girlfriend, but you're just unpopular, aren't you?
I've had plastic surgery!
I have 5,000,000 in my bank account.
I've gone out with more than 200 people other than my boyfriend!
I wear a hairpiece!
I can't love someone!
I throw up at family movies!
I think I'm beautiful!
I'm in crushing debt!
He's untalented!
I made a mess on the toilet seat!
I'm in it for the money!
Eww! Idiot!
Only the body!
Nobody ever loved me...
It's okay now.
You understand each other.
We'll all work together toward our happiness.
We're family of the soul.
In this ugly world, here there is true love.
You there.
Come to my room later.
It looks like you'll need some special guidance.
"Emotion" "Victim" "Devotion" "Friendship" "Pure" "Faith" "Service" "Effort" "Health" "Love" "Hide Nothing" "Fraternity" "Bare" "Truth" "Reality"
It's coming!
It's coming this way!
It was quite the spectacle.
Apparently someone had hijacked the ark.
You're running, right?
I will accompany you.
Now, let's go.
And so we slipped into the dark forest to run away.
Let's go to the next stop along the tracks.
I'm sure that'll be safe.
There were even more people after us at the next station.
And it seemed there were some non-Honwaka people mixed in, too.
Hmm, Plan B.
Get in.
But before that, one to warm you up, good customers?
I didn't inquire about the details, but it seems this was the suggestion of one Master Higuchi.
The Neko Ramen then was especially delicious,
as I slurped it up, tears fell from my eyes.
It was a worldly flavor I had missed so.
I decided then and there
that even if the world were being destroyed tomorrow, I would take myself to Neko Ramen!
Hey, please stop there!
Not here!
We'll go down the canal to the Kamo River.
Why are you in women's clothing?
Don't look at me with such a scary face!
Hey, get off me!
But I'm lonely and the river breeze is chilly...
You lonely bastard.
Ozu, what in the world have you done?
We've arrived.
You head to the boarding house.
I still have some minor business to take care of!
It's Akashi. I've brought a Castella from the Master.
Here.
The Master is here as well.
It seems things are over. It's okay now.
All Ozu's evil deeds until now have all been exposed,
and as a consequence he was thrown off the Kamo-oohashi and broke his leg.
He sure is one incorrigible fool.
What exactly is he?
Indeed. He's a slippery one to pin down.
But he said that he'd cover for you, come what may.
This is your book, yes?
I've finished reading it.
And this seems to be yours as well.
I used it unknowingly.
That's a book I bought at a used book fair.
I thought Ozu had borrowed it and never returned it, but I guess this Master read it?
But it's been more than a year since then...
Please use this!
I'll be in trouble if there are fewer bees.
Because there'll be an increase in moths.
Clear-headed, in the engineering department, and smart enough to design airplanes,
Akashi-san seemed to have no fear, except when it came to moths.
She told me she was looking for her lost Mochiguman.
This opportunity is dangling right in front of your eyes.
I don't believe it! I don't!
I don't believe in this crazy stuff!
Because it'd be really scary if it were true.
How did something like this happen?
Greater than the love Hikaru Genji felt for his infant daughter Kaguya,
I felt fear the likes of which I'd never felt before.
At this rate, would I not have been happier staying with Honwaka?
No, I have thrown away these past two years.
I must face this reality head on, with conviction!